Yesterday seemed to go on forever. I wasn't myself at all, I did have a great time during playgroup in the morning. We hosted about 6 kids over and made reindeer food and the kids played while we talked. After everyone left it just seemed like a blah day. :) I have been processing emotions in my little brain and come to realize that I am the only one that can make myself feel the way I do. The past has no hold on me unless I let it! Learning these tools over and over again by reading or hearing them it doesn't click until you really start to practice the lesson. I noticed while I was punishing myself in feeling bad and sad my two year old picked up on my vibrations and began to react. Goodness, that is never good when he decides to react. :) My daughter had her band concert last night. I really wanted to watch it but I had this 2 year old you never know what he will do. I so badly want him to behave in public but I also understand he is his own person, he is unpredictable to say the least and usually I enjoy this but last night I was already feeling bad so I just wanted him to be good. Well we all know Murphy's Law and he started out good. He let me carry him all the way from the car to the multi-purpose room (should of been my first clue) then he got down when he saw his sister. Stayed with us so I could get some pictures of her. Then I walked him to the back of the room. Figured if I didn't make him sit right away we could have a chance. As the evening went on, the shorter his attention span got (typical 2 year old right?). Well, someone had to leave a playground ball out and he found it of course. A bright yellow ball! It was like a beacon to him, calling his name out saying "Throw me!!" Before I could get to him, he threw the ball up into the air and hit a lady in the head. She wasn't to happy about that and I apologized then he took off running when I got the ball away and sure enough! He tripped and fell right in front of her about taking her down too! Needless to say we had to leave at that point. He was done and I wasn't going to set him up to get into more trouble. I'm thinking maybe a baby sitter for the next performance. :)
On the way home is when it hit me. I should be the one to get myself out of this funk! I should know better than to let past emotions affect me this much that I can not enjoy day to day life. It's not easy processing painful situations in the past while being a mom and wife. I am not allowed to be in a bad or sad mood because I have little ones depending on me. :) Plus I should know better and know that what is in the past is in the past. Nothing can hurt me unless I let it. So I am clearing out those painful emotions, writing about them to get them away, to release them once and for all into the universe! YAY! My goal for today!
Much love to you all!
No comments:
Post a Comment