I have learned a valuable lesson about how one person can say something to you and it gets stuck in your mind. You live with those words all your life unless you are willing to uncover those beliefs and shed some light on them. I was told repeatedly not to tell anyone of the abuse, to always keep it in and no one would understand. That was totally wrong in every way and shape! People do understand, people do support me and most of all those words are those peoples issues not mine! They tried to make it mine but no more. I had a huge blanket of shame lifted off this weekend. A blanket that had been covering me for some time now. I decided to shred that blanket and no longer allow it to be on me. What happens, happens, is what I am thinking now. Sure I have fears, sure I have no idea what will come of this. But I am no longer worried about how those words are true. To me they are lies and meant to keep shame inside of me. Yes, I was sexually abused as a child and I am learning to speak up for others to help heal myself. I was told to NEVER speak of it again! I told people in my teen years that tried to help me those words. For so long those words were my motto and I would talk a little about what happened, always skating around the real issues. I have come to realize others are in this boat too. Punishing themselves for crap they didn't ask for or want. Not knowing how to process the emotions that come along with it! Sucks! But what I learned is this, if 1 in 4 woman and 1 in 9 men are sexually abused we have a lot of people walking around that need their own blankets of shame lifted off!
Much love to you all today!
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